Tsukihime? (this is just for fun!)

Another way (Fate+Tsukihime)
For Theater and Tv.


.....
??: "Our contract is established!"

Narrator: She extends her hand towards me.

Arc :"I guess I can finaly introduce myself now. I am Arcuried ---hmmnn my last name is really long so Arcuried will be fine by now. I am a true ancestor type
vampire. How about you?"

Narrator: I heave a heavy sigh at her unprecedented introduction.
Shiki: " I am Tohno Shiki. Sadly, an every day student."

Narrator: she takes a long hard look at me, and then offers me her hand again.

Arc: "Nice to meet you Shiki.
I will have you take responsability for killing me."

??:WAIT!
You killed me?
??: Saber please...say your lines.
Saber: but Shirou...you killed me...what did I did to you?
Shirou: You did nothing to me. I kill you out of a whim, ok Saber?
Saber: OHH! How could you!?. You sick person...I hate you.
Shirou: Saber! Saber!...it is a play remember? a play...just a play, ok? Just say your lines.

??: This sucks. I am going home.
Shirou: Hey Tohsaka! wait! You can't go home.
Rin: why?
Shirou: What would I do without you?
Rin: ....Shirou...
Shirou: I would have to look for somebody to be Akiha.
Rin: So I am just important to you because I resemble that girl!? What is this anyway? Why should we do a play based on a game you played last night,anyway?

Shirou: Tohsaka, please. Don't go...
Rin: Don't give me that look! What is with this story? You are a guy who has amnesia...
Shirou: It is anemia Tohsaka.
Rin: Who cares! I am a girl who is grumpy and everyone is scared of me! That isn't like me at all! I want to be someone else!

Saber: Yes, Shirou...I don't like this character either. She is very naive and doesn't feel like a Vampire at all. I want to be someone else too!

Rin: and this story....A vampire and a guy who can see death? Do something useful in your free time Shirou. Something you could use in real life like learning magic or something. This is just a waste of time.

Shirou: Girls wait!

??: Shirou, who am I supposed to be?
Shirou: Oh! Rider! I am glad you came. You are going to be Nero.
Rider: Nero!? Why? Shouldn't be a man doing that one?
Shirou: You are the only one tall enough to be Nero, Rider. Normal people like Saber or Rin couldn't do it.
Rider: "Normal people"?
Shirou: Eh?.... Rider?....Hello....Earth to Rider...

??: Shirou nii-san, who am I?
Shirou: You are Ren, Illya.
Illya: Ren? Am I an important character?
Shirou: Yes, very...
Illya: Nii-san you are drooling!
Shirou: Oh! Sorry I was looking forward to something.

??: Mongrel, who am I going to be?
Shirou:....Gilgamesh, right. You are going to be the chair. I cut you down to pieces to show my power to Arcuried.

Gilgamesh: What!!?

??: What is this supposed to mean Shirou?
Shirou: Hm? Archer? what don't you like your character?
Gilgamesh: Hey, don't ignore me!!
Archer: I don't even know if I am a character.
Shirou: why do you think that?
Archer: My name is ""Miguel Dias" I am a refugee who is taken in by the Tohno family and dies in a tragical way while carring out his duty."
Shirou: See? You are very important in this story. Why did you think something else?
Archer: I am the pool cleaner.
Shirou: You said it yourself, you are THE pool cleaner.
Archer: I don't think the Tohnos had one of those. I think they don't even have a pool.
Shirou: Well, you can be the chair if you want.
Archer:....

??:Errr...Sempai, and who am I?
Shirou: Sakura! You are going to be Kohaku in this story.
Rin: Ohh is Sakura kohaku because she is raped? Shirou?
Sakura:....
Shirou: Gulp... Err... O-oh! s-she gets raped? So-orry Sakura, you are going to be Satzuki, she is the main protagonist's clasemate. She is also a main character too.
Saber: Shirou I have read the script a little and I decided to be Satzuki but I really don't want to die so soon in the story and she seems to be of secondary importance to the story so...Oh! Sakura you are doing this too? Who are you going to be?
D Sakura:... Satzuki...
Saber...Eh?...I-is that so? he he...She has potencial.
Dar Sakura:....but she dies...
Shirou:...eh...eh...D-did I say Satzuki? S-sorry, my mistake...I meant...I
meant...Ciel!!
Dar Sakura:...Ciel?...
Shirou: Yes, You are going to be Ciel! She is one of the main protagonists of the story and she is the protagonist's senpai.
Da Sakura: hmmm...
Shirou: Look! she even has one bed scene with the Shiki.
Sakura: A-a bed scene!? O-ok I- I will be Ciel-senpai.

Karen: Shirou...I want to change who I am going to be. I have just read an article about that Ciel and she isn't that popular.
Sakura: !!!....
Karen: I think I could be Akiha or other one of the girls. Every one of them have a bed scene anyways.
D Sakura: Everyone.... a bed scene?
Karen: Yes, each one of them.

Dark Sakura:...S-E-N-P-A-I!!!

Saber: What? s-so ....I am Arcuried soo...I will have to....with Shirou...
Gilgamesh: Wait! You saying the main character sleeps with Saber? I am going to be him then.

Dark Sakura: ...S-e-n-p-a-i!

Shirou: What are you saying? I am going to be Shiki.
Gilgamesh: Don't worry I am very kind, even with a mongrel like you. I will leave to you the other girls. They don't interest me anyway.
Shirou: You can't how are we going to explain that to the public? First one person being Shiki and then other one?

Dark Sakura:....S-e-n-p-a-i!!!

Gigamesh: Don't worry, I have already thought of a way. Here it says Tohno Shiki has a Nanaya mode when he is stronger. So we will say I am Nanaya Shiki and I will be the one who sleeps with saber.
Shirou: That doesn't make sense.
Archer: Yes, I should be the one who is nanaya Shiki. I am a stronger version of Emiya Shirou anyway.
Gilgamesh: You?...Oh! I SEE YOU WANT TO BE THE ONE WHO SLEEPS WITH SABER!
Archer: ANY PROBLEMS WITH THAT?
Shirou: NANAYA SHIKI DOESN'T SLEEP WITH SABER!
Archer:....
Gilgamesh:....
Karen: He is right. Only Tohno Shiki sleeps with Arcuried in the game. Not his alter ego.
ARcher:...
Gilgamesh...
Archer: I am going to be Tohno then.
Gilgamesh: AS IF I AM GOING TO LET YOU DO THAT!
Shirou: I AM THE ONE WHO IS GOING TO SLEEP WITH SABER!!!

Rin: HEY YOU!! STOP FIGHTING!
ARcher:...
Gilgamesh:...
Shirou:....you fight like a girl gilgamesh...
Gilgamesh:Say that again in my face you...!
Rin: Enough!! Are you little brats or what?
ARcher:...
Shirou: He hit me first.
Gilgamesh: That isn't true.
Shirou: It is.
Gilgamesh: It isn't
Shirou:It is.
Gilgamesh: It isn't
Rin: Shut up, ok? Shirou how much people did you tell about this?
Shirou: Everyone.
Rin: Everyone?
Shirou: Yes, everyone.
Rin: Lancer?
Shirou: Dog 1
Rin: Caster?
Shirou:Crow
Rin:...Kotomine Kirei?
Shirou: Deer.
Rin: What the hell is that?
Shirou: What? Those are important.
Rin: What is Berserker then? a Toucan?
Shirou: He is Shiki's father.
Rin: How come..!?
Shirou: "The Red demon god"... does somebody else comes to your mind?
Rin:....
Shirou:....
Rin: So he is your father?
Shirou: Yes.

Rin:...
What happened to your mother?
Shirou: She died.

Rin: Understandable.

DARK SAKURA: S-E-N-P-A-I-!
Everyone: Holy grail!!!

-End-
_____________________________________________________________________________________-

Extra: Omake.

Well....yeah...that too.
Anyway, I had decided to post some of the jokes, I considered, weren't so funny.

--------------
Rin: Shirou! where did you get Zelrecht's phone number?
Shirou: Look, it is at the back of the cd.
Rin: This isn't metal gear!!

-----------------------------

Shirou: Shinji! you can't be tohno shiki! You don't even have magical capabilities, let alone have MEDP
Shinji: Ha ha!! but the thing is that I can see them, the lines of death!
Shirou: What!!?
Shinji: LOOK!!
Dark Sakura: Kyaa!!!!!
Shinji: The lines of deat.....guarrrgh!!!!
Shirou: Well, those are more like "the striped panties of death"

------------------------------

Shirou: sooo...who wants to be the main character and have a bed scene with saber? Rise your hand... 1,2,...4....wait! Sorry caster you can't.

Caster: Why?

Shirou: you have already done it. It would be unfair with the others.
-----------------------------

Shirou: who wants to be SHIKI then?
Rin: Isn't sakura SHIKI?
Shirou: why should she be it?
Rin: well, since I am Akiha and SHIKI is akiha's brother Sakura would be perfect for the rolle.
Shirou: But SHIKI is twisted and evil and...Oh!
Rin: you see? Sakura is just perfect!

---------------------------------


Dark Sakura: Saber I hate you!!
because of you
because of you!!
BECAUSE OF YOU I CAN'T RAPE SHIROU-SEMPAI TO MY HEART'S CONTENT!!!!

------------------------------

Shirou: Sorry berserker but apparently I won't need you help.
Berserker: !!!!
!!!
!!
!

Berserker:.....
Shirou: Berserker are you crying?
Berserker: ...I-I am not....